While Sagan and I were

While Sagan and I were waiting for Claire to finish an appointment, we walked a bit. Played in the grass. “Daddy! Run!” We were in downtown Normal, along the bike trail. But, then we walked up the sidewalk and into the parking lot behind the Coffeehouse. “Go in dere? Mommy go in dere last night.” Really? Claire hadn’t gone into the Coffeehouse the night before, but Sagan seemed convinced she had.

I have avoided the Coffeehouse ever since I told Simon (the owner) that I coldn’t take it anymore. The place was sucking our lives away. Claire and I, with the help of Lyndsey and Nella were running the place. We were being the owners without being the owners. I’d roast in the morning when I dropped Claire off to bake. Then the cook wouldn’t show up, so I would cook. And the counter help wouldn’t show up so Claire would work the counter. We soon came to hate the place. Which was unfortunate since it is the only place in town with a full vegetarian menu and it’s own coffee roaster.

So, I begrudingly went along with Sagan. We went in and I felt nostalgia. The place was packed and my roaster was sitting there, a little more worse for the wear. It doesn’t look well cared for. I found myself really missing it, and also dreading running into Simon. Not that he is there much. When we left, I was thinking that maybe I am doing the wrong thing with my life. I really miss being in a cafe. I miss working with coffee. Kind of had a, “What the fuck am I doing with my life” moment.

At times like these it is good to remember the words of Ian Shoales: Nostalgia is to memeory what aspirin is to penicillin.