— 2 July 2005 —
I was only in Canada for a week. I’ve been back for essentially two days now. Why do I still see banner ads for all things Canada?
Canada, are you beckoning to me?
I know we saw each other briefly, but believe me, I had a wonderful time. The walk along the river on that hot afternoon… Just seeing water again made me feel at home. Wandering the streets, looking for a place to eat, seeing all those old buildings. You knew I was trying to impress you each time I just kept walking off on my own, as if I was out for a stroll by myself. But you were always with me.
You made me comfortable enough to be myself, to open up and let you know me. But you also made me nervous at times. Basically when I would go on and on as if I were performing, because I was. I knew the time was short. I felt I had to let you know as much as I could about me before I left. That anxiousness led to poorly timed sheep jokes and a certain resistance to go to your Jazz Festival.
I understand that we really didn’t know each other well, but I felt as though we really connected. And I know, too, that even though we are separated by geography now, we will always be connected. Even if the line between us is a political one.
As the time marches on, I know we will be able to remember the experience with fondness. But from here on out, please forgive me for wanting to see other ads for universities based in the US… For Vonage rates in US dollars… For moisturizing creme labels printed in English. I just need to move on with my web life.
I appreciate the cookies you sent, but no more gifts. It was gift enough to be with you, even if only for a week.
I may come back someday, but for now my life is here.