— 22 November 2005 —

How to Get Rid of Hiccups or Die Trying

I just finished a loud and painful stretch of hiccups.

I’ve had them like this before. They usually arise like this when I am under a lot of stress, as I have been of late. The hiccups lasted about 2 hours this time. I was at home, but decided to get out of the house and go to the cafe. I figured if anyone could help me it would be coffee. Coffee cures what ails you, right?

But it wasn’t coffee this time, it was Dave.

I walked in the back door and was greeted by Tony (one of the owners) and Dave. I said Hi. They asked how I was I as I began to answer I let out an echoing hiccup that caused most people in the place to turn and wonder what just exploded. Dave said, “You have hiccups? I have the perfect cure. I guarantee it.”

You’ve been here before. Some one has the perfect cure for what ails you (yes, other than coffee) all you have to do is trust them.

“Trust me,” he said.

I sat down as instructed as he went behind the counter to get a small cup of water. Brilliant, a hiccup dismisser trick involving water. Wow. The thing is, and here’s the real trick, it worked.

“Now I am going to take a drink, swish it around in my mouth for about 30 seconds. I want you to tip you head back and when I am done swishing I will spit it in your mouth.”

At the point he said, “tip your head back,” I was cured.

Nothing like a relative stranger offering to spit fluids in your mouth to get rid of a bad case of hiccups.

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